Changing names

So, like for a time now I have wanting to change my name.

Actually I have hated my name for as long as I can remember and I have always felt uncomfortable in it. 

But even if other people around me changed names I never thought that I could. It's a whole lot of stuff I don't realize I'm allowed to do.

But a while back I met this person who is transgender, he was so.. Strong and obvious about his raight as a person to be comfortable and it just, took me by heart. He made me see that my feelings were valid and true.

So I started to look at names, I first got really stuck with Albus. It was like glue. But with time I just grew more and more insecure it was like I rushed into it because I was so exited to find me.
I think that I have come up with the name I want tho. 

Now it's more a money issue, how to afford all the new card I will need. The lastname change will be for free since it's my mom's but the first name will be around 250sek witch isn't a whole lot. But I don't have a job so it's a lot for me. It's also very hard for me when other people stil say my old name. I understand that it's hard to just switch, but my old name cuts like knifes in my ears and I'm just so uncomfortable when people use it. I mean I can see the  reasons to why, like one of my friend stil calls me N to her parents cuz it's easyer for them. And I get that and it's okay, but when someone is calling me actively N to my face I don't appreciate it. 

Like in all my working interviews, doctors appointments. And when Im in therapy I don't wanna take focus from my issues to explain this situation and they often think that part of my depression is like gender related? And it's not, at all. Its exhausting. 

But it feels nice to start to grow with myself instead of trying to cut myself down. Atleast I have tried to listen to myself.