I have had sleeping problems siiiince

I was a kid. I just realised it like yesterday or something. Looking back I remember mom or dad getting really angry with me because I didn't sleep at night.

I remember my little brother crying and so I got up to caress he's cheek. My dad got in the room and thought I had woke him up so he grabed me by the ear and pushed me to bed telling me not to disturb my brother.

I remember dad getting in the room, already upset because he knew one of us was awake. My brother told on me as I pretended to sleep and he just wasn't good at it yet, my dad pulled me out of bed by my hair and asked me if I thought I was funny.

I remember my mom angrily telling me to fall asleep after I had climbed up in her bed.
I have so many memories of my parents being so angry with me. I did really try and fall asleep, but I just couldn't.
To much was happening for me to close my eyes. In my room there was elephants in dresses, there were mermaids swiming in the air and bears and trolls everywhere. I had a wonderland within my walls and when they opened the door it was just their child, not sleeping. Somehow it drove them up the walls.

I remember nights where I woke up with nosebleeds and how I would carefully walk my way to a bathroom.
How I carefully tried to get the blood to stop the way mom had taught me.
Afterwards I would slowly ,with a wet piece of paper, try and erase every blood drop from the floor.
When I was a kid I used to get these really heavy nosebleeds, they could come from nowhere and so I didn't want to wake mom and dad up. I didn't want them to get mad.

But there was some good things with me not sleeping. Like the night my grandpa was visiting, and he came into the room to see if I or my siblings were awake. Of course only I was so he brought me outside where mom and dad already was standing in the middle of the yard. He told me to look up.

And it was the northen lights