self-image and esteem

One's self-image isen't the same as one's self esteem.
You can think you're the best person in the world, but have no self knowledge there for have a broken self-image.

Or you can have sutch a poor self-image that it effects your'e self esteem.
I have for a long time seen myself thru glasses of hate and disgust. I have for a very long time not even been interested to look at myself, to get to know myself. I haven't bothered to try and get to know myself bc of the enviorment I have lived in, I just haven't seen any point to it. Everyone told me what I was so I didn't have to care.

So my self-image is poorly constructed and at age 22 I have to start to get to know myself. Why I react the way I do, or who I am.

I feel very uncomfortable to have to look at myself like that. I don't know where realistic and imagination end and starts. I often take personality test and I read about my sun and moon signs and stuff like that. It's like a puzzle and I don't know what the finished image will look like.