The horrors of being a fraud

I often feel fake. Like I'm not sick enough to actually be sick at all.

Like the other day, when we celebrated my friend, I was in the kitchen with my mom(Patricia) and her mom(Gugge) talking.
In the flow of conversating I asked Patricia if she had read up anything about Aspergers yet. Patricia then told Gugge that I might have the diagnos and that I have just started the process of checking it out.

Gugge actually works in care and she works with Autism and Aspergers in like work shops (I don't really know so don't ask haha)
but she told me about the work they do, how it often dosen't show in girls like it shows in boys and even tho she spoke so softly, and she looked so kind and knowing all I could hear her think was:
"She is not sick enough, She must be joking, fucking whore fakeing diagnoses? She doesn't seem to have any of the criteria, she's just babbeling like she know anything but she's stupid."

Even if I do see myself in a loooot of the criteria for Aspergers I still feel like it's not enough. Like I take the space somebody else should have.

I read and see other people that just seem mutch more valid then I do. I respect them and I feel like I'm.. I don't know.

When I read on my own, looking at myself, I feel like I can have found what's up with me. But as soon as someone else is calculated into it, I just feel dumb?

Im so scared of making it up in my head. I really just feel lost, and I wish there was more for me then just a conversation I don't even understand who I'm having it with once a month.