The funny thing called sleep

I fucking love to sleep

Like probably a little to much. It's a magical place where you can do anything, where futures can be told and old memorys live again. I really wish I had the stuff that's needed to go full on sleep like bears do for like a few months. Ugh...

But I do have a lot of problems with my sleep. For example, raight now the time is 07:25, and I have not yet been able to fall asleep. I might just stay up and do my choirs for the day and try and pass out at a reasonably time. But even well after 24h without sleep I can have trouble sleeping.

Or it's the other way around and I never wake up. Like the time I sleept for 72h straight. Or when I just can't keep my eyes open, and I just fall asleep everywhere. Or in the mornings where I can't get up and it turns to midday, to afternoon, til night and I wake up and.. It's all dark so I'm  on the phone for a while and then sleep again.

It's like a gigant snooz clock broke inside of my head and now my sleep is all fucked up. 

I mean, I understand that it's all related to my stress and depression or anxiety.  It's like how my skin gets dry when I'm stressed. I look like a snake changing skin haha it's horrible and I get redspots all over.
But how do I fix it? How do I turn it around and make it work or how do I get myself to sleep. I try and listen to calming music, or a podcast or something like that. Or meditate myself to sleep.

But shoudent I try and fix the core problem to what's keeping me sleepless? I don't know what it is tho. ¿Is it my fears of days to come, or anxietys from conversations I had years ago?

I do habe sleeping medication, well it's not the real stuff but it calms you the fuck down, especially if u like me take two. The problem is you're littrly dead the next day. Like I took my sleeping medication yesterday in a honorfull time and I sleept like a baby, only to be paralyzed, not being able to like open my eyes til 3 o'clock in the afternoon. Like what? What did that give me but a fucked up sleep this night? 
Well, now I got my frustration out so I'm gona try and sleep now, again..