I dream about her

And in different scenery,  different people and different circumstances it's always me asking for forgiveness in different ways, asking her to be there and support me. Longing after her being my friend and confidant again.

I'm going thru thought and feelings that scares me a lot. I feel alone and left out from my family, from my friends in town. I feel isolated and without a support. 

So I think I dream about her, when it was just me and her for a short while. Where she depended on me and I on her. 

I don't want it like that again because she became a obsession, she was every though every horror. I analyzed and questiond everything. If she really liked me, how much she lied to me, how much she hid away and how brutaly open and brave she expected me to be while she was crawling away in fear.

I don't know. I don't know what to think of the dreams. More than I miss her, miss having that constant support even tho it was paper thin at times. 

It was stil there.